God is Such a Good God!

Tags

Addiction, christianity, compulsive overeating, exercise, food addiction, God, inspiration, Mental health, spirituality, weight, Weight loss, Weight Watchers

I’ve been free of flour/sugar products for over two years and cigarettes for over one and a half years and I haven’t lost any weight at all. It’s been very discouraging to say the least but I think the tide is finally turning regarding the weight. I think God finally had enough of my wining and stepped in to give me a little advice.

I had a spiritual experience a couple of weeks ago about losing this weight. It went something like this.

God: You know how to lose this weight dear.
Me: How?
God: You know how.
Me: No I don’t.
God: Yes you do. You’ve done it two times before the in exact same way with complete success.

EXERCISE !
Twenty minutes a day.

God: One time just before you moved to Santa Cruz. And one time while you were in Weight Watchers. It worked like a charm back then and there’s no reason why it won’t work again this time. So… if you really do want to lose this weight… why don’t you…

Get back on the ball.

Well I’ve been doing cardio-exercise (which is what I did before) on the elliptical machine twenty minutes a day since then.

I know I will lose the weight this way. God is right. If I want to lose the weight, I have to exercise. I’ve experienced losing the weight this way two times before. I really do want to lose the weight. Enough so that I don’t have any resentment about doing the exercise anymore. I used to have a big resentment at doing even ten minutes. I’ve always talked myself into this resentment by wining things like…

How come I have to exercise
to lose weight and
everyone else doesn’t.

But when God talked to me that day, I knew instantly what a load of crap that was. He put on my heart the reality that just about everyone who has a slim figure has to exercise… the same as I would if I wanted a slim figure too. Suddenly, doing twenty minutes a day on the elliptical is a piece of cake. Not only did He give me the information I needed to loose the weight, but He took all my resentment about doing the exercise, away too!

Exercise -vs- Pigging Out

Tags

compulsive overeating, exercise, overeating, pigging out

I’ve been exercising on the elliptical for a month now. Twice a day for a total of an hour a day – and I can’t get enough of it.

(to read about how this started see this post:  HERE)

I was thinking about ways one tries to numb one’s emotions and how one ‘pays the bill’ for the different ways to numb.

More Problems… Damn It!!!

Tags

abstinence, Addiction, alcoholism, C-PTSD, child abuse, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, compulsive overeating, cutting, homicide, mental illness, obsession, PTSD, Suicide, trauma, violence

(the first post in this series is here:  On Being a Social Outcast  )

Another problem has started to rear it’s ugly head in this
no-addictions / no-obsessions trial.

!@!@!@ CRAP  @!@!@!

That’s all I can say…. Crap… Crap… Crap… and Damn It!!

I want this to be over.

I’m tired of being on the tracks… being hit by so many trains.

I want to get well!  And NOW!!!

I don’t want to be doing this anymore!

God Dialogue – October 25, 2013

Tags

abstinence, child abuse, compulsive overeating, diet, eating, exercise, food, God, god dialogue, Health, Holy Spirit, Intimate relationship, Mental health, weight, Weight loss

(the first post in this series is here:  On Being a Social Outcast)

(this particular post is out of sequence. I included it because it was written at the very beginning of the experiment. However, I was still smoking at this time.)

*  *  *

I’ve been abstaining from junk food and compulsive overeating for 40 days tomorrow and I’m beginning to feel like I’m slogging up-hill with it. Today was tough and the absence of weight-loss is making it doubly tough.

I go to God (Pops is my name for Him) with almost all my problems and dilemmas and we have ‘talks’ until I get my head straightened back out again. This is one of those talks.

I Quit!

Tags

abstinence, Addictions, christianity, compulsive overeating, God, Holy Spirit, junk food, Mental health, smoking, spirituality, weight

I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been hiding from the world. But T.E.Hanna had a good talking to me and I’m back on track again… I hope.

That’s right, I’ve quit!

What do I mean by that? Well, I’ve quit the junk food habit for six months now. Recently I also quit smoking (over two months). I’ve quit compulsively crocheting and I’ve quit compulsive computing as well. And that’s just to name a few of the things I’ve quit.

From My Journal – 7 – Therapy

Tags

abstinence, child abuse, child within, complex ptsd, compulsive overeating, crying, Mental health, mental illness, PTSD, spirituality, tears, therapist, therapy, trauma

So I went to therapy yesterday. I love my current therapist, Elizabeth. I love, love, love her. She’s so busy that I have to make appointments up to two months in advance to keep my same time slot. Where I go, you can’t claim a regular slot for yourself, you have to take what you can get. I was lucky. Someone had cancelled so I got to meet with her yesterday.

From My Journal – 3

Tags

abandonment, complex ptsd, compulsive overeating, Family, journal, Mental health, mental illness, Overeaters Anonymous, PTSD, relationship, trauma, violence

So this morning I’ve been feeling sorry for myself… feeling like an abandoned little waif. This is difficult, writing so that you might read my stuff. I want to let my hair down a bit and allow you into my world. I wear my hair in a ponytail. It’s uncomfortable to leave it hanging down. This is difficult. Impossible? I will keep trying.

From My Journal – 2

Tags

abstinence, anti-social, Anxiety, child abuse, christianity, complex ptsd, compulsive overeating, God, intimacy, intimacy with God, Mental health, PTSD, relationship

Getting on my knees is getting harder and harder. I am railing against turning my life and will over to something other than myself. I am so used to taking care of me by myself. Funny… I need God to stay away from alcohol. I have a conscious connection with Him all day long… to stay sober. But this food business is a whole lot trickier than the alcohol. I am truly bewildered by it all.

From My Journal – 1

Tags

abstinence, anti-social, child abuse, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, compulsive overeating, God, Health, journaling, Mental health, mental illness, post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, Sadness, trauma

I feel so, so sad these last few days. My eyes look dead to me in the mirror. Life is sad. The days go by and nothing happens in them. I feel like I should cry but I can’t cry.

Just For Your Information…

Tags

5-Hydroxytryptophan, abstinence, child abuse, compulsive overeating, food, Health, Mental health, PTSD, Serotonin, trauma, weight

This information is from a non-medical person so please take it as such, having this in mind.

I have told many personal friends who have difficulty with abstinence about this but no one yet has taken me seriously. This is why I am putting out this information. I want to tell other abstainers about this substance that has been doing miraculous things with my junk food cravings.

Doctor Tom – The “Feeling” Specialist

Tags

abstinence, alcoholism, child abuse, christianity, compulsive overeating, Family, God, Health, inspiration, Mental health, mental illness, Overeaters Anonymous, sobriety, spirituality

I’m in an outpatient intensive program for food addiction. I’ve been going there three times a week for the last five weeks on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. But I went last Monday because my husband had a small surgery scheduled during my regular Tuesday time. This is where I met Dr Tom.  I’d met him the week before because I wound up going on a Monday during that week as well. The man fascinated me. He’s into feelings…what they mean… what to learn from them… what to do with them. I think I can learn a lot from this man.

Doing the Hard Thing

Tags

abstinence, Anger, anti-social, child abuse, Christian, christianity, church, compulsive overeating, God, Holy Spirit, Intimate relationship, Jesus, Mental health, sobriety

Do you want to really know your Father in Heaven?

Do you want to have an intimate relationship with Him?

Do you want to feel His Love, Wisdom and Power in your life?

Well, there’s one way I know of  that will give you this.

It’s called “Doing The Hard Thing.”