Have You Had a Visitation?

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Christ, Christian, christianity, Faith, God, Holy Ghost, Holy Spirit, Jesus, lonliness, religion, religious experience, spiritual experience, spiritual visitation

Have you had one or more spiritual experiences or visitations? I have on several occasions and I’m desperately looking for others who have had them too. Because, in this, I feel truly alone.

Why We’re Here

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God, heaven, Job, Job of the Bible, Satan, sobriety, spirits, stress, struggles, struggles as opportunities, suffering, visceral learning, why we're here, wizard of oz

Why I think we’re here on this planet. I believe these things because of my own experiences after 40 years sober.

Does God ‘test’ us? No, I don’t think so.

I don’t think it’s God who is doing these terrible things we experience here. I think Satan rules this world and is the author of all our sorrows. Satan is the one who relishes our pain. Not God.

Think about the story of Job.

God made sure we knew that it wasn’t Him who wreaked havoc with Job. He allowed Satan to do it. But not for what Satan thought. “To get him good!” God had another idea for it all. He had something in mind to do to Job and, at the same time, relay information to us (when we have to go through Job experiences) through the story. It was all in His plan. But in the story He, on purpose, wanted to  make it very clear that he doesn’t do stuff like that to us. He is our Father and wants us to know that the shit we go through does not come from Him. He doesn’t want us to run from Him as though the shit we’re going through comes from His throne. He wants us to run away from Satan – and to – Him. Just like He knew Job would do.

But He does allow for shit to happen. He allows Satan to run rampant through our lives while we’re here.

Why?

I think it’s quite a sophisticated plan He has devised. Unbeknownst to Satan, He’s is using that evil being for His own purposes. Purposes for our good.

Because, while we’re here, using Satan as His tool,  God is giving us the fortunate opportunity to learn things through experiencing them and, using the free will He blessed us with, make some very important decisions based on those visceral experiences. While our spirits are without bodies we are unable to learn some very important things that cannot be taught through ‘book learning’ in the heavenlys.  So He sends us here to go through ‘on-the-job training’. Book learning helps to gain knowledge to some extent, but it’s the on-the-job training that allows us to learn things in much deeper ways than simply talking about them in class. It was all about getting through to our ‘viscera’.  Way down to that deep place, where we truly live and breathe.

In the story, Job went through a deep period of on-the-job-training as he experienced all those stressful things. The loss of his livelihood, his children (who, by the way didn’t die as no spirit ever dies in God’s realm. Spirits just go back to be with God. Remember, He reclaimed all of them in a very quick and painless way), and his health. What happened in the end of all this stress? He was given the gift of hitting an emotional bottom. And why is hitting bottom a gift? Because it is a very good vehicle for separating us from ‘old ideas’ we cling to that don’t serve us well; misconstrued ideas we clung to while in spirit where we weren’t able to get opportunities to go through stresses strong enough to sever them from us. Stresses that force us to make desperate decisions. To make us desperately want (the key) to pick up new ideas, and not just feel like we need to – or (even worse) feel we ‘should’ (ugg!!). Ideas that pertain to relating and relying on God and wanting to truly rest in His love. And truly realizing, that in the universe of real reality, where there’s furious forces of good and evil,  just how ‘powerless’ we actually are. Only God knows how to do battle with of the forces of evil. We need to choose Him and run from the evil – not the other way around. That’s why it’s very important to understand that it’s not God who’s causing the pain. He is the salve, run to Him, not away. Remember, in the story, He specifically stated that the stress came from the Evil One. It was Satan who started the craziness – not God.

Before everything happened to Job, God knew he was going to pick his God and not curse Him. But he loved Job and wanted him to be blessed in a very deep and meaningful way; to become intimate with our God like he’d never been before and to gain a new and more wonderful relationship with Him.

Realize this. At the end, God came to Job! He did not just leave him to suffer torment forever, but only for the time it took to learn something. As a result of the temporary experience of suffering, Job was changed. In his bottom, Jobs’ ears were opened in a new and deep way so that he was able to hear and assimilate information God was now able to convey to him at viscera level.  The suffering emptied Job and allowed him to take in a new understanding of God because it changed him down to his DNA. He was now able – to viscerally incorporate – this new information.  God didn’t convey this information to his buddies, nor to us as we’re only reading it in a book, but to Job alone. They (and we) could not get it the way Job now could. And because of this Job was blessed. Job chose God instead of choosing the other way (not Him), and because of that now knew God in a way that he’d never known Him up until that time. And when the dust settled, God blessed his life more than it had ever been blessed before. Job gained everything he’d lost – and so much more. The ‘dross’ of riches (that keep us from entering the kingdom of God) were torn away and he could come out from it now with a new richer and more rewarding walk with God on top of all his regained worldly riches and health. Because God loved Job – soooo much!!!

Job was a special guy in Gods’ eyes. God said this of His beloved Job in 1:8

“Then the Lord said to Satan,

Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears (awes) God and shuns evil.

I have had Job experiences, as I am sure you have too. Huge storms of stress. And in these, I do my best to always choose God. And, after the dust settles, making this choice has only served to make my life even more blessed. My life is better than I could ever have imagined it could be. But it’s not over yet. The storms are not over yet as I know I still have a few more old ideas I can’t stop clinging to without the help of suffering to separate me for them. But so far so good. Though not Job’s station, from where I came from, I too am already living a more and more JOB BLESSED LIFE!!!

God talks to all of us – just like He talked to Job. He talks to me too and, like Job, I do my best – to listen.

 *********************

I love ‘The Wizard of Oz’.

After everything was over and Glinda is talking to Dorothy, she says to her.

I couldn’t teach you this. You had to learn it for yourself.

And what did Dorothy learn?

That there is no place like ‘home’.

Before, Dorothy didn’t appreciate her home. She tried to run away from it. But afterwards, her heart wanted home like she’d never wanted it before.

My home is with God. And I know to my very heart, that for peace, joy, happiness, there’s no place like being with Him.

*********************

ps – when I am at the end of what I can take, I get under my soft blue blanket; curl up in a fetal position; let go of ‘the fight’; and say…

Help

But there’s a catch to this. The fruit (of old ideas) has to be ripe enough to fall away from the tree (you). And for this to happen, time is required for the ripening. Time to let the storms play out. As far as I know, there’s no way around walking through the necessary time to allow the fruit to become ripe enough to fall off. No short cuts. Time is required. Simple time.

Try the blanket trick though as much as you can – until your fruit is ripe enough for the magic to happen. I can’t really explain what the metamorphosis feels like, but you’ll know it when you get there.

So choose God. Always, always, always choose God.

How to keep up with daily meditation

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blog, blogging, journal, keeping up with meditation, meditating, meditation, meditation calendar, meditation motivation, stickers, therapy

I got this from my therapist. She suggested that I put a star on a calendar when I meditated. This got me thinking. I like stickers – all kinds of goofy stickers.

On Being a Reject

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AA, ACA, adult children of alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, feeling worthless, God, journal, La Femme Nikita, rejection, relationships, self-esteem, spirituality, TV show, unwanted children

I watched LaFemme Nikita on TV tonight. It’s a totally weird show about the authorities not caring a twit about their ’employees’ lives, whether they live or die. Those in charge blatantly use people who were former prisoners and treat them as though they weren’t worth a nickel. I so related to that. It got to me and added umph to my feelings of worthlessness already.  As a child I felt like I wasn’t worth a nickel either. I feel totally worthless. Just like when I was growing up. I hope the ACA meeting will continue and not fold. I need ACA people. I want to call Anne but it’s 10 pm and she’s pretty old. I don’t want to be waking her up for such a stupid reason. I want to talk to someone about what happened today with Gordon and how I keep messing up and messing up with AA people. No matter how I try I keep messing up with them. I don’t belong in AA anymore.

Making God Bigger

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carbs, doughnut, God, God speaking to me, junk food, Prayer, relationship, relationship with God, thou shalt have no other gods before me

Went to church. While there I helped myself to a doughnut. I wish I could get off the junk. But something occurred during the sermon while the preacher was talking. He was giving a sermon about the first commandment of thou shalt have no other gods before me. I got a spirit twinge. And this is what it was.

When I want junk food I have to make God bigger than that stuff. It occurred to me that if I get on my knees maybe I can make him bigger than my crazy head. The junk gets to my mind and calms it with sweet carbs. God can calm my head too but I have to make him bigger than my crazy head and the only way I can think of to get that to happen is to get on my hands and knees and put my face to the ground. This so that I can get the feeling of how small and powerless I am, and appeal to him who I can then sense is way bigger than me. I know he will answer me – help me with my anxieties – if I do this. But am I going to be willing to? Well I’m sure going to give it a good honest try.

Sunday: 5 – 13 – 2018

Tags

color matching, exasperation, God, house painting, painting

To continue with the saga of painting. My oh my oh my.

I’ve given up trying to get the right color for our very dark hallway. I was trying to go for a golden yellow color with a hint of green but I kept shooting past the mark. First it was too green and dark, then too yellow. Now it’s too white. I’m mixing cans of paint together and I have about six tints to choose from along with a gallon of pure white.

I’m getting Jerry involved…… FINALLY!  I need help!!!!

So I’ve let go of the whole business and turned it over to him. So we put some paint on the walls and the same hew looked like three different colors in three different spots in the hallway. It’s just plain crazy!

I’m going crazy!!!!

Eventually I’m going to have to go to the last ditch resort. I’m going to pray to God to give me some insight about how to proceed. Imagine that, getting God involved. I know he knows the exact color we need. I just have to have faith that he will help.

God is Such a Good God!

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Addiction, christianity, compulsive overeating, exercise, food addiction, God, inspiration, Mental health, spirituality, weight, Weight loss, Weight Watchers

I’ve been free of flour/sugar products for over two years and cigarettes for over one and a half years and I haven’t lost any weight at all. It’s been very discouraging to say the least but I think the tide is finally turning regarding the weight. I think God finally had enough of my wining and stepped in to give me a little advice.

I had a spiritual experience a couple of weeks ago about losing this weight. It went something like this.

God: You know how to lose this weight dear.
Me: How?
God: You know how.
Me: No I don’t.
God: Yes you do. You’ve done it two times before the in exact same way with complete success.

EXERCISE !
Twenty minutes a day.

God: One time just before you moved to Santa Cruz. And one time while you were in Weight Watchers. It worked like a charm back then and there’s no reason why it won’t work again this time. So… if you really do want to lose this weight… why don’t you…

Get back on the ball.

Well I’ve been doing cardio-exercise (which is what I did before) on the elliptical machine twenty minutes a day since then.

I know I will lose the weight this way. God is right. If I want to lose the weight, I have to exercise. I’ve experienced losing the weight this way two times before. I really do want to lose the weight. Enough so that I don’t have any resentment about doing the exercise anymore. I used to have a big resentment at doing even ten minutes. I’ve always talked myself into this resentment by wining things like…

How come I have to exercise
to lose weight and
everyone else doesn’t.

But when God talked to me that day, I knew instantly what a load of crap that was. He put on my heart the reality that just about everyone who has a slim figure has to exercise… the same as I would if I wanted a slim figure too. Suddenly, doing twenty minutes a day on the elliptical is a piece of cake. Not only did He give me the information I needed to loose the weight, but He took all my resentment about doing the exercise, away too!

The Peace of God Can Be Found Inside the Spaces

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abstinence, Addictions, alcoholism, C-PTSD, child abuse, christianity, complex ptsd, God, inspiration, Mental health, mental illness, peace, post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, relationship, spirituality, trauma

This is a copy of a post I wrote about six months ago –

Yet now I am feeling this way on a long term basis not just for a day like I was here.

 

(the first post in this series is here: On Being a Social Outcast )

*  *  *

Here is a list of things I no longer practice:
Things I No Longer Practice

*  *  *

This ride of  ‘no addictions or obsessions’ has suddenly transformed itself. Up until now, I’ve been careening at break-neck speed, through the pitch blackness, on a hairy, frightening, roller coaster; being tossed around like a rag-doll, completely out of emotional control. But suddenly, an abrupt change has occurred. Suddenly I’m finding myself in a place of absolute quiet stillness. It feels like I’m riding on a smooth white platform that’s silently and swiftly skimming across the surface of a pale blue, sparkling, glassy sea.

What To Do With Sin-Trauma

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abstinence, Addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, C-PTSD, child abuse, christianity, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, God, Mental health, mental illness, PTSD, sin, trauma, violence

When God first made man… Genesis 1:26 …

Let us make man-kind
in our image.

God told Noah (even after the fall)… Genesis 9:6 …

For men are made
in God’s own image.

It is my belief that the above passages infer that every person (and not just Christians I might add) on planet earth carries a piece of our holy creator within themselves. From the president of the United States to the people who call the streets their home… everyone carries a piece of the Holy God… an image of Him… inside their persons (however, those who heed God’s call to Jesus the saving Christ, have a soul redeeming relationship).

A Dialogue with God -> 7-24-14

Tags

Addiction, dialogue, Family, food, God, god dialogue, inspiritation, obsession, spirituality

A12:  Hi Pops

Pops:  Hi my little one-too. How are you?

A12:  I’m ok I guess. The last few days I’ve been bingeing on Salt Water Taffy though. I haven’t eaten any of my ‘alcoholic foods’ (sugar/flour junk) for over eleven months now, but I guess I have to add candy to the list of foods I can’t control. Damn it!!! When is all this crap going to be over??!! I keep running to earthly answers to my emotional pain. When is it going to end?! — but otherwise — I’m ok I guess.

God Dialogue – October 25, 2013

Tags

abstinence, child abuse, compulsive overeating, diet, eating, exercise, food, God, god dialogue, Health, Holy Spirit, Intimate relationship, Mental health, weight, Weight loss

(the first post in this series is here:  On Being a Social Outcast)

(this particular post is out of sequence. I included it because it was written at the very beginning of the experiment. However, I was still smoking at this time.)

*  *  *

I’ve been abstaining from junk food and compulsive overeating for 40 days tomorrow and I’m beginning to feel like I’m slogging up-hill with it. Today was tough and the absence of weight-loss is making it doubly tough.

I go to God (Pops is my name for Him) with almost all my problems and dilemmas and we have ‘talks’ until I get my head straightened back out again. This is one of those talks.