Tuesday: 5 – 15 – 2018 – Dogs

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all meat dog food, dog food, dog food companies, dogs, feeding pets, no grain dog food, pets

Tuesday: 5 – 15 – 2018

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blog, highway 395, I-80, letter, politics, Reno Nevada, Republican, road construction, tax payer, us dept of transportation

U.S. Department of Transportation
1200 New Jersey Ave, SE
Washington, DC 20590

 

To whom it may concern,                                                 May 13,2018

 

I just heard on the news that I-80 is going to be ‘worked on’ around Keystone Ave to Robb Drive, Reno, Nevada and I just want to let you know that…

There’s nothing wrong with that piece of the interstate!

Nothing at all wrong with it.   NOTHING!!!!!!!!

Monday: 5 – 14 – 2018

Tags

being used, craziness, friendship, letters, manipulation, money, resentment, San Diego, saying No, step 4, street people, trips

Last Saturday, my friend gave me the business. She said she wanted us to go to San Diego on a trip. I said “Save your money”. But after hearing this she got very indignant with me. She was she was expecting me to pay for the whole trip myself because she is on disability and has hardly any money. I could hardly believe what she was saying to me but the thing is, I can’t come out and say; “No”. I’ve never been able to say that in my life (because of living with my father who was a malignant narcissist). But this was too much. I got very tongue tied and tried to wangle my way out of it by saying that, though she wasn’t trying to use me, I had a hard time even smelling the idea of being used. What a crock! I thought; “If I go for this, I’m going to get a resentment as big as a house”. I was determined not to do it. She tried to manipulate me through humiliation saying that street people would give the shirts off their backs to help someone else out. She said that she expected me to be ‘better’ after 38 years sober. I squeaked out a response saying; “Your expectations of me are too high”.

I was so extremely freaked out by the whole business that I completely lost my bearings. I lost my Costco card at the gas station; something I’ve never done before with any of my credit cards. My driving was scary and when I went to drop her off, I ran over the curb. She chocked it up to the bipolar disorder (I’m actually schizo-effective) and I didn’t disagree with her. I just couldn’t let the same conversation come up again.

So, when I got home, I wrote her this letter. Here it is:

Sunday: 5 – 13 – 2018

Tags

color matching, exasperation, God, house painting, painting

To continue with the saga of painting. My oh my oh my.

I’ve given up trying to get the right color for our very dark hallway. I was trying to go for a golden yellow color with a hint of green but I kept shooting past the mark. First it was too green and dark, then too yellow. Now it’s too white. I’m mixing cans of paint together and I have about six tints to choose from along with a gallon of pure white.

I’m getting Jerry involved…… FINALLY!  I need help!!!!

So I’ve let go of the whole business and turned it over to him. So we put some paint on the walls and the same hew looked like three different colors in three different spots in the hallway. It’s just plain crazy!

I’m going crazy!!!!

Eventually I’m going to have to go to the last ditch resort. I’m going to pray to God to give me some insight about how to proceed. Imagine that, getting God involved. I know he knows the exact color we need. I just have to have faith that he will help.

Thursday: 5 – 10 – 2018

Tags

budgets, couples therapy, low self esteem, marital conflict, Marriage, relationship, relationships, vacations and fun, verbal abuse, verbal violence

To begin in this series – click here

I really think this marriage can be salvaged from the wreck it has become now that both of us are working on it.

Yesterday Jerry and I had our couples therapy session and some interesting things came up that I think were helpful for us.

Sunday – 5 – 6 – 2018

Tags

Chip and Joanna Gaines, discouragement, Fixer Upper, frustration, house painting

We’re painting.

What a fiasco.

So far I’ve wasted 4 gallons of very expensive paint and I’m still not getting the color I’m looking for. It’s so frustrating and discouraging. This painting should be left to the experts. I watch Chip and Joanna Gaines of the TV show Fixer Upper. She gets her colors right the very first time. I wonder how long it took her to get to be such a color connoisseur. It’s HARD to do this. How many of you feel the same way. So frustrating – and expensive! So far it’s cost about $200  with nothing to show for it.

Saturday: 5 – 5 – 2018

Tags

couples, marital conflict, Marriage, painting, relationship, relationships, screaming, self discovery

To read about our new relationship – click here

Well I got a real surprise yesterday. Jerry and I were beginning to paint our kitchen when I walked away to do something. When I came back, Jerry was mixing and pouring paint on the cardboard in front of the wall we were going to paint.

Well, I had a hairy. If the paint was mixed and poured on the sight, there were bound to be paint drippings on the cardboard; we would step in these drippings then spread them all over the rest of our brand new kitchen floor.

I screamed at him;

What are you doing??!!

Stop doing that!!

You’re going to get paint all over the place!!!.

I SCREAMED at him! Here I’m telling him that he can’t scream at me anymore and I just did the same thing myself. Though I apologized to him profusely later on, it seems I have some work to do on myself too.

To continue in this series, click here