Tags
baptize, baptizm, christianity, demon possession, demons, God, spirituality, trauma, violence
My baptism was ‘not that great’ as it turned out. This is an understatement. Here’s what happened.
I became a Christian in my bedroom, alone, by accident, at 27 years old. The story of my conversion is HERE. Then I was a ‘closet Christian’ for three years before I got with a church. After that, it took another year or so before I got the guts to come forward and ask to be baptized. I knew about baptizim, and I knew you were supposed to get baptized after you became a Christian, right? It’s just something that Christians were supposed to do. You get baptized to declare to the world that you now follow Christ. I had no problem with that. I knew I belonged to Jesus and to God and that I owed my very life to Him.
So the day came. I got dunked. I felt nothing from it really, but all went well.
But then there was the day after. All hell broke loose. I got ATTACKED!!!
It felt like demons from hell were after me. I was being tortured. Voices were screaming at me to go buy an oozy (a machine gun) and shoot everyone in church, then take my own life. The pressure to do this was intense and incessant. It went on for weeks. I grappled on to an assistant pastor with both hands because I didn’t know how to handle what was happening to me. It was all I could do not to carry out what was being commanded of me.
I do not believe that this was ‘all in my head’. I believe that I was truly demon possessed as a result of my ‘coming out’ in baptizm and that there is much more to this baptizm then many might realize. Eventually the dust settled and all became quiet again. The demons realized that I was not going to co-operate with their scheme so they left.
My question now is… are there others who have experienced similar events as a result of being baptized and who scurry away from Christianity because they don’t want to be labeled crazy? Maybe the demons don’t get the ultimate prize of death to a church crowd and the baptized subject but they do get a consolation prize. One less follower of Christ. And no one is the wiser. They say to each other…
What ever happened to so-and-so?
Didn’t s/he just get baptized recently?
Wow! I never would have dreamed this could happen! I’m really sorry you went through this.
This is a mystery to me because I’m an Episcopalian and was baptized as a very young child. Then at age 13 I was confirmed and took over the responsibilities of being a Christian myself. When I was baptized as a child, I had Godparents who made sure I went to church and Sunday School and the church organizations I belonged to. Being confirmed was a rite of passage for me because I felt good about being a Christian on my own. I’m 76 now and still am active in my church, and my faith has grown stronger as I have gotten older. Being a Christian is a part of my life, a part I would feel lost without. I can’t imagine not being open about my Christianity.
People who don’t accept infant baptism say those of us who do are not real Christians. That hurts my heart! I believe that when a child or baby is baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the Spirit protects that person and helps him or her discern what is of Christ and what is not of Christ so that the person can constantly strive to live a Christ-like life on this earth. The person can choose to ignore the Spirit within and live a non-Christ-like life, but I know I’m happiest when I strive to follow Christ’s Gospel message and call on the help of the Spirit for guidance.
You seem to put yourself down for not belonging to a church. For centuries there have been many Christians who practiced their beliefs solo. Being in a church is more satisfying in some respects because we are social beings, but many people carry their “church” in their hearts. Going to church does not guarantee that a person is living a Christ-like life–as you know if you have followed horror stories of the preachers and priests who have done the most terrible things to other people. It’s your practice of listening for the Spirit’s guidance and knowing the difference between the good in our world and the evil and avoiding evil and acting on the good that matters, and you don’t need to be in a church to do that. Christ’s command to love one another is good. When I don’t follow that command, my life goes gunnysack in a hurry. So I’m constantly learning and striving . . . That’s what living means to me, a process of constant striving to live a Christ-like life, making amends when I screw up, but always trying every step of the way to examine my conscience and listen to the voice of the Spirit for direction.
I’m sorry to use so many words in this, but I’m concerned about what you said, and I care that you find peace somehow. A Christian meditation group in a Lutheran, Episcopal, Orthodox, or Catholic church might help you learn to increase your powers of discernment and find peace. Another help might be to visit a convent and ask to talk to a spiritual director, tell that person about your experience, and ask if a compassionate Sister would help you. Another way to practice discernment is to take a class in painting icons, Greek or Russian Orthodox icons. It’s amazing what Jesus or Mary or any of the saints can tell you while you are busy painting them.
All my best wishes for peace in your life . . .