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Climbing Out Of The Well

~ Life of a Recovering Alcoholic, Food Addict, Schizoaffective, Child Abuse Survivor, Christian

Climbing Out Of The Well

Monthly Archives: August 2014

Something to Think About

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

complex ptsd, Love, PTSD, trauma

Until a person recovers from the shock of being physically traumatized, they have absolutely no capacity to either give or receive love. The trauma forces all their faculties to focus inward to deal with the trauma and so they can not be reached. I believe this same understanding can be applied to the shock of psychological trauma as well. All the faculties are focused inward trying to deal with the trauma. This is what I know from my own experience anyway.
—

About This “Self-Soothing” Thing

29 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in About Addiction, Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

child abuse, infant trauma, self-soothing, trauma shock

More on the ‘no addictions’ journey…

Well I’ve tried the ‘self-soothing’ thing many times before, and for many years. People have told me of it’s importance more than a few times in my life. But it never really took. Not really. I wanted to do it. It sounded like a great idea. But I only was able to do it by rote – robotic like. Needless to say, it didn’t help anything.

Continue reading →

God in Me

27 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Spiritual Experiences, What I know about God

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

complex ptsd, God, inner healing, PTSD, spirit, wisdom

As I continue to stumble onward along this ‘no addiction’ journey…

Let Us make man-kind in Our Image.

Genesis 1:26

(It says: “All Mankind” – not just Christians)

When I was made, God placed in me a piece of Himself. A ‘fragment’ of Himself if you will. Then He went along His way doing what He does. Creating things and such.

Continue reading →

Holding the Baby

27 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Spiritual Experiences

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

childhood trauma, complex ptsd, dr spock, PTSD, trauma

This is a continuation of a previous post: HERE

I woke up very early this morning. Dread from the trauma memory weighed heavy on my heart. “What to do with all this new information? How am going to get out from under all this trauma as an infant? How am I going to deal with this? How?”

Continue reading →

Song: Baker Street

25 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's hits, 70's music, baker street, Gerry Rafferty, music, song

Intense Paranoia

25 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, What I'm Learning About Life

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

child abuse, child neglect, dr spock, Paranoia, trauma

As I continue to trudge my ‘no-addictions’ journey, I came to this…

On Saturday I was roped into going to a party. My ‘friend’ roped me in by asking me if I could help her out with plates, utensils, etc. She was so insistent that I eventually caved. So I went.

I hate parties and here’s the reason why. They cement the knowledge I carry inside, that no body likes me. No body. One more time, I wound up sitting all by myself. Everyone was grouped up and I was sitting alone.

Continue reading →

Song: The Ark

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's hits, 1970's music, 1970's music hits, Gerry Rafferty, music, song, the ark

Song: Chiquitita

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

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Tags

1980's hits, 1980's music, 80's hits, 80's music, abba, Chiquitita, music, song

Song: Fernando

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

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Tags

1980's hits, 1980's music, 80's hits, 80's music, abba, fernando, music, song

Book: The ACoA Trauma Syndrome

23 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ACoA, adult children of alcoholics, book, C-PTSD, PTSD, tian dayton, trauma, trauma syndrome

(a paragraph from this book by Tian Dayton, PhD)

Picture again the child facing her drunk parent. She is short, he is tall. She thinks with a child’s limited reasoning, he’s been to college. She has her truck or teddy dangling from her arms. He holds the keys to the house, the car, and credit cards. She could fight, but she knows that if she tries to stand up for herself, she will only come to her daddy’s waist. She could flee, but where would she go in her footy pajamas with no money? So she does what she can do. She shuts up. She stands there like a little soldier and takes it. She freezes, holds her pain, hurt and tension in the musculature of her little body and flees on the inside, she dissociates. Dissociation – or “fleeing on the inside” – can be hard to see. After all, your body is still there – you talk and interact, you seem to be there, but you are not in your own skin. You’re not present. You’re on autopilot. Life appears to be happening out there, somewhere, but you’re not quite present.

An E-Mail I Sent to My Therapist

20 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in About Addiction, Child Abuse Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, What I know about God

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

attachment disorder, child abuse, complex ptsd, PTSD, rad, trauma

I sent this e-mail to my therapist and I thought you might be interested in it too.

Please see the post:  HERE– to further understand what I’m talking about.

*  *  *

Dear Elizabeth,

About the attachment disorder thing. I was thinking on the way home about what I know about it from the inside. This is what came up.

Continue reading →

I Can’t Connect

20 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in About Addiction, Child Abuse Trauma, My "No Addictions" Experiment, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Spiritual Experiences, What I'm Learning About Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

AA, abstinence, abuse, Addiction, alcholism, anti-social, attachment disorder, Christian, christianity, connection, God, rad, surrender

I continue on in my quest as an addict into the world of no addictions.

It’s been officially a year now since I put the sugar down; six months since the cigarettes. I’m digging deep into my psyche. It started out with curiosity. I’ve been desperate to know… “Through practicing all these addictions, what the heck have I been running away from so hard?” Now it’s come to take on a life of it’s own. Here’s where I  now.

Continue reading →

A “Spark of the Divine”

15 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Spiritual Experiences, What I'm Learning About Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

child abuse, divine, Ephesians 4, God, made in God's image, parenting, post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, spirituality, trauma, violence

Let Us make man-kind in Our Image.

Genesis 1:26

There’s a drug that my psychiatrist prescribed for me a few weeks ago called Prazosin. It’s for PTSD. He said it was a pretty old drug – from the 70’s – and was used to treat high blood pressure. However, one of the other things it does is calm the adrenal glands so that they don’t pump out adrenalin so furiously the way they do in PTSD victims who are in constant ‘fight or flight’ mode. Anyway, since I’ve been on this drug I’ve begun to get clear-headed in a way that I’ve never been aware of before.

Here’s what I’m awakening to.

Continue reading →

Song: Canon in D Major

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Song: Nocturn 9 – #1 – B-Flat Minor

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Chopin, classical music, Nocturn, Nocturn B-Flat Minor, Op 9 No 1

Song: Clair de Lune

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

clair de lune, classical music, debussy, music, song, YouTube

Song: May It Be

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

enya, may it be, music, song, YouTube

Song: Watermark

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

enya, music, music classics, song, watermark, YouTube

Song: Who I Am

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

danielle bradbery, music, song, The Voice, The Voice TV, TV, who I am

Song: Over You

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Cassadee Pope, music, Over You, song, The Voice, The Voice TV, TV

Song: Morning Has Broken

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's music, cat stevens, morning has broken, music, song

Song: Untitled Hymn – Come to Jesus

07 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

chris rice, Christian, come to jesus, music, song, untitled hymn

Song: Move On

06 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's hits, 1970's music, 1980's hits, 1980's music, abba, move on, music, song

The actual song starts at about one minute into it.

“Love”

06 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in What I'm Learning About Life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Family, God, heaven, inspiration, judgement, Love, non-judgmentalism, spirituality

Love is an archetype here on earth of what is happening in the heaven-lies.

Many people try to define the term Love, yet no matter how they try to define it, it somehow seems to be indefinable. I believe this is because Love is not a thing to be grasped. This is not a ‘something’ but in reality only occurs in the absence of something else. Continue reading →

Song: I Have a Dream

05 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's hits, 1970's music, 1970's music hits, abba, I have a dream, music, song

Song: I Let the Music Speak

05 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1980's hits, 1980's music, 1980's pop hits, abba, I let the music speak, music, song

Song: 7 O’Clock News / Silent Night

04 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's music, 7 O'Clock News Silent Night, 70's music, music, simon and garfunkel, song

Song: Every Breath You Take

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by anonymousonetoo in Songs & Books

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1970's music, 1980's music, 70's music, 80's music, every breath you take, music, police, song, sting

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Here are some of my posts

  • Have You Had a Visitation?
  • Why We’re Here
  • Everyone is a ‘Person of Color’
  • How to keep up with daily meditation
  • Matthew 9:4-6
  • A Wasted Life
  • How to Stop Suicide Obsession
  • How to Make Life More Meaningful
  • Why I Haven’t Been Able to Meditate
  • Coffee Grounds
  • It Aches
  • Legacy of the Heart
  • Nothing
  • Haiku
  • Why I Have Anxiety Around Everyone I Meet
  • A Hard Lesson to Learn – Let This Be a Warning
  • More – Dealing With My Angry Husband
  • A Motto I Don’t Want to Live By Anymore
  • Grow Up and Be a Man
  • It’s All About ‘Competency’!! (or is it?)
  • On Whether or Not to Have Children
  • Money Money Money
  • On Being a Reject
  • I Don’t Feel Safe in AA
  • Meditation Motivation
  • Learning ‘Socialization’ Language
  • Nancy Napier
  • On being an ‘outsider’
  • Finding meditation impossible
  • Rejection

Categories

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Blogs I Follow

  • My Blog / Website
  • Church Set Free
  • Jean's Writing
  • Sammy Holiday
  • I Am Begging My Mother Not To Read This Blog
  • #AskMyrtle
  • A WordPress Site
  • follow your nose
  • A Buick in the Land of Lexus
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  • Under Reconstruction
  • trudgingdestiny
  • thelightattheendofthetunnelsomewhere
  • thegirlwriting
  • The Girl With Words
  • DIDdispatches Blog
  • the anxiously depressed
  • Christian INTP
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  • THE EDITOR'S JOURNAL
  • Wild Truth
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  • lulufille
  • In My Father's House
  • Coming2Him
  • Heather Kopp
  • Isaiah 41 v 10
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Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

My Blog / Website

Church Set Free

Love is the answer - now what's your question?

Jean's Writing

Jean M. Cogdell, Author-Writing something worth reading, one word at a time in easy to swallow bite size portions.

Sammy Holiday

First-world probelms. Third-world country.

I Am Begging My Mother Not To Read This Blog

#AskMyrtle

A WordPress Site

follow your nose

it always knows

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

fresh hell trumps stale heaven

King of States!

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Random Storyteller

Poems, stories, and reflections

PRINCESS KICK-ASS

Jean-Luc Picard.

Under Reconstruction

Hope isn't an emotion, but a daily choice.

trudgingdestiny

It's about the journey not the destination

thelightattheendofthetunnelsomewhere

my healing journey

thegirlwriting

The Girl With Words

Typing what comes to my head...

DIDdispatches Blog

A personal perspective

the anxiously depressed

Learning to live my life with anxiety, depression, and self-harm (and other things).

Christian INTP

Growing towards God as an Introvert

Susan Irene Fox

Jesus follower, peacemaker, unfinished human

THE EDITOR'S JOURNAL

Wild Truth

Healing from Childhood Trauma

The Aspirational Agnostic

Searching for a God who's playing hard to get.

lulufille

if I were to blog my life, it'd go like this...

In My Father's House

"...that where I am you may be also." Jn.14:3

Coming2Him

In Your light we see light...

Heather Kopp

Words fail, but sometimes I try

Isaiah 41 v 10

a life redeemed from the pit

Highly Sensitive Matters

Concerning the lives of sensitives, narcissists, artists, ADDers, survivors of narcissism and abuse.

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