Monthly Archives: July 2014

A Dialogue with God -> 7-24-14

24 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in Dialogues with God

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A12:  Hi Pops

Pops:  Hi my little one-too. How are you?

A12:  I’m ok I guess. The last few days I’ve been bingeing on Salt Water Taffy though. I haven’t eaten any of my ‘alcoholic foods’ (sugar/flour junk) for over eleven months now, but I guess I have to add candy to the list of foods I can’t control. Damn it!!! When is all this crap going to be over??!! I keep running to earthly answers to my emotional pain. When is it going to end?! — but otherwise — I’m ok I guess.

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Anger

17 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in Day to day life, My "No Addictions" Experiment, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

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I’ve been so angry lately. The little girl is angry. The one who took all the abuse for the rest of us. She’s angrier than all get out. “It’s not fair”, she says about taking the excess food away. “As if trying to live in this world isn’t bad enough for me, now you have to take my food away too?!! What’s next!!? Are you going to try to get rid of me altogether!!?”

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Her

10 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in About Addiction, Child Abuse Trauma, My "No Addictions" Experiment, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

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(the first post in this series is here:  On Being a Social Outcast  )

It feels like the noose is getting tighter. Liking myself is predicated on not junking out on any drug foods. Now this abstinence even includes abstaining from Costco frozen yogurt and doing 20 minutes exercise on the elliptical??!! I don’t know if there is a bottom to this ‘abstinence’ business.

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I’m Still on the Damned Roller Coaster Ride!!

06 Sunday Jul 2014

Posted by in Day to day life, My "No Addictions" Experiment

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(the first post in this series is here:  On Being a Social Outcast  )

It seems I’m on the emotional ‘roller coaster’ again with no idea where I’m going to next. Apparently I haven’t arrived at God’s destination for me as the ride isn’t over yet. I’m so tired of … one… more… time… having to deal with all these uncontrollably, wild feelings!! It’s not bad enough that I have to deal with food addiction; I have to deal with all this child-abuse-PTSD too!!??

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