(the first post in this series is here: On Being a Social Outcast )
(the previous post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 9 )
It was a very small hole I had to squeeze through then, but now as I look back, I can see much more clearly the necessity of developing a relationship with a Loving God. Since then, I’ve analyzed this thoroughly, in a scientific way, so let me make my case to you before you close me out completely. This is not to proselytize! I’m not at all trying to make Christians out of you. We all deserve to give others the utmost respect for their religious and spiritual choices.I’m not closed off to the possibility that there may be others like this one, but as far as my own travels have been, and I’ve traveled a lot (even as far as atheism) I’ve never come across a God as unique as this one. I believe that this particular God has the necessary qualifications to handle the intensely crazed father-Introject as I had to manage. To give you a taste of what this father-Introject was like in me, please refer to this post:
This God is the only one I’ve ever encountered with enough Purely Unconditional, Ever-Present, Super-Naturally Powerful, Endlessly Patient, Intimate ~LOVE~ to over-power, soothe, and caress…
on a continuous basis – that is… without let-up…
my own intensely crazed father-Introject, and so to keep it calmed down. So far, I have yet to discover, no other God who has this amount of power along with all these other essential qualifications mentioned above.
In the course of my relationship with this God (who I stumbled upon while attempting to work the AA 12 Steps), I have had the supreme pleasure of experiencing a seemingly bottomless supply of endlessly patient, unwavering, and (especially)_unconditional ~Love~. This Love is something I’ve never experienced with any other God I’ve tried before. In fact, before this, I had never even had the experience of being loved… by anyone… or anything. Nor had I ever had a conceptualization of Love, nor anything even remotely like it. Does this sound unbelievable? Could one possibly be able to live on this planet with absolutely no experiential contact with ~Love~? Yes. It can be done. It’s deadly, but I’m living proof that this can happen. Getting this God was a dreadful can of worms to eat. I had to find a Higher Power to help me. I had no other choice if I was going to continue to survive on this planet. Suicide was another option, but after trying it four times and failing each time, I realize that ‘live’ is what I would have to do. Since I determined I would no longer drink, there was no other alternative. Trudge on, day after sad, sad day, until they would put me in the ground and cover me with dirt.
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(the next post in this series is here: Putting It All Together – Part 11 )