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(the first post in this series is here:  On Being A Social Outcast )
There is a link at the bottom of this post
that will take you to the next post in this series.

More on my journey through the labyrinth of dealing with life without using any addictive substances or engaging in any obsessive behaviors.

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Yesterday, at church, I had a tremendous urge to jump up out of my seat and explain to the other congregation members what the pastor was talking about. I’ve had these urges many times in the past. They are so strong that I have to grab the seat with my hands so as not to jump up.

But something was different this time. Without the introject getting in the way. I was able to ask my little girl… why. I was also able to get an answer from her. In the past, she has been completely silent, all I had were the terrible urges and the introject screaming at me about what scum I was for wanting to act so insanely. More fodder for the introject’s fire.

This time the little girl talked….. “I’m lonely” she said. I began to immediately comfort her and to tell her I was here for her. This made her feel better and the urge to jump up disappeared.

The next post in this series is here:  Self Rewards