Tags
abandonment, christianity, complex ptsd, Family, God, Mental health, mental illness, post traumatic stress disorder, Prayer, PTSD, relationship, spirituality, trauma
How I Turned Out After All This
Because my parents were pretty ‘out there’ as far as religion was concerned, I have a very spotty religious internal background. My parents took us to the Unitarian church until I and my sister were about eight years old and my brother was four. Then this most liberal of protestant churches kicked us out. As I have talked about earlier, my parents had a very warped view on the spiritual, or religious, aspects of living.
My exposure to God came from childhood necessity. Because it was so very bad for me growing up, I was kind of forced to pray for help. I guess I had heard of a God of sorts because I was praying to one with all my might… for rescue. But no rescue came. Because of this, my faith in prayer went down the drain and, even though today I know I am a Christian(I became a Christian in 1982*) I still have little faith in prayer. Why wouldn’t this all powerful God not rescue me from such a dire situation as I was in? I don’t think these prayers I prayed were off base. I believe I had a real need that should have been taken care of. But my God, who I believe loves me for all He’s worth, for some strange reason… left me in the dust.
However, I need to say that He is slowly healing me from all I went through. I am not the lonely soul I used to be when I left the home of my childhood.
* * *
“Then I will restore to you the years
That the swarming locusts have eaten.”
Joel 2:25
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~~ Peace and all feloreaw to our heavenly God and Father~~
Anonymousonetoo
* Here is “My Testimony” of how I came to believe.
How I forgave my father is this post HERE
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Thankyou for sharing your story.
Thank you for deeply, vulnerably, and authentically sharing your story. I am honored to witness it and grateful for your powerful testimony of coming through such darkness into the Light. May God bless you richly and abundantly with every good endowment and every perfect Gift coming down from the Father of lights!