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Along with many, many others, this is for my blogging buddy:  Graeme
who writes posts that inspired me to write this.

A warning. This is very base. It was difficult to write; difficult to expose. But I felt led to write it and publish it because I think it’s necessary for others to understand how deeply Father-God loves us. His love for us goes deeper than we could ever, ever comprehend.

  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *   *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

While I was getting drunk at 4 years old. Emptying all the
wine glasses at the Christmas table…

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was discovering masturbation and becoming
a masturbation addict…

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was scouring the neighborhood for other kids
to play “Doctor” with…..

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was in school, and being told I had ‘cooties’ and ‘rabies’,
and not liked by anyone, and couldn’t make a single friend….

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was doing hand-to-hand combat with my sister
in the hallway between our two rooms….

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was getting drunk at 14, and staying drunk
for three days, pooping in my pants…

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was getting super drunk all the time, and sleeping with every Tom,
Dick, and Harry; sleeping with anyone who wanted to sleep with me….

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was getting drunk and sleeping with that old man
who took me home from the work Christmas party…

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was being told I was nothing but a no-good, common slut…

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was at college spending every day drunk and high on pot….

   My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was trying to take my married “boyfriend” away from his
three little kids, begrudging every penny he gave to them…

   My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was doing horrible work at my job because I was drunk all the time….

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was spending every night drunk out of my gourd; sitting in my
green wooden rocking chair, crying drunken tears  in the dark, alone….

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was screaming, and screaming, at my loving and wonderful husband…

   My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was having my first of many manic episodes and being
involuntarily committed to mental hospitals…

   My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was taking a bottle of pills, trying to kill myself….

  My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was trying to take my life on two other occasions….

   My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was being diagnosed as Manic Depressive…

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I was taking my first dizzying steps sober, at 25….

   My Father was watching… and dances with joy.
*

While I was 27 years old, and finally coming home to Him…

   My Father was watching… and dances with joy.
*

While I was screaming in my car at Him with all
I was worth because I was in so much pain sober…

 My Father was watching… and wept for me.
*

While I’m still doing things wrong…  still messing up…

My Father is watching… and weeps for me still.
*

While I’m writing on my blog of all the love I have for Him…

My Father is watching… and dances with joy.
*

While I’m watching for Him and trying my best to do His will.

My Father is watching – and jumps and laughs with me,
because He knows I’m going down the path that leads to joy.
*

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *   *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

 My Father went through all of my ups and downs with me.

He was, and will always be, standing close beside me.

My father

… God …

Loves me.

Through all of the good and bad of my life…

He will always be there for me… and He will always love me.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *   *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

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